Friday, May 16, 2025
Enough people were taken in by this year's April Fool's story "Disney to purchase Elroy-Sparta Bike Trail"
in The County Line, a weekly newspaper based in Ontario, Wisconsin, that the Wisconsin Department of Natural Resources felt the need to issue a denial.
The state agency's statement was meant "to assure the public" that the trail is not for sale despite the fact that the fake story was "picked up by other news media" including a number of Wisconsin radio stations.
Like every good spoof,
County Line editor Karen Parker started with a borderline believable premise: That Gov. Scott Walker's administration, in its effort to privatize state services, had opted to sell our first and most popular rail-trail to a corporation better known for running theme parks.
"Budget cuts have left the DNR strapped and shorthanded in recent years," Parker wrote. "Selling off public property is one way not only to bring cash into the general treasury, but also to relieve the DNR of maintenance duties so that employees can be deployed to other areas."
In a manner worthy of The Onion, the story became less horrifying as it became more absurd. Natural Resources Secretary Cathy Stepp was quoted saying the Disney-fication of the trail would include turning one of the famed tunnels into a brightly lit arcade overseen by costumed "gandy dancers." There would be a choo-choo train for kids and motorcycles for adults to ride on the trail.
"Times have changed," Stepp explains in a quote that, if not made up, would rightfully terrify many readers of
Silent Sports. "People are no longer content with a quiet experience in nature. In truth, they probably never were. We want, even crave, endless noise and stimulation. By next year, they will have it on the Elroy-Sparta Trail, and we will have set an example to the nation of how to convert public land to cash and endless fun."
No joke is the fact that the sale of Wisconsin state trail passes raises about $1 million a year but not enough to cover the cost of maintaining the trails. The state trails are subsidized by the separate sale of state park admission stickers, camping fees and state tax dollars found elsewhere.
Whatever you may think of Gov. Walker's nonnmotorized trails policy - his first proposed state budget cut more than $2 million but was persuaded not to veto legislators' restoration of some of the funding - he can't fairly be criticized for an April Fool's fantasy.
What Walker has done most recently is establish the first
Nonmotorized Recreation and Transportation Trails Council, an advisory group established by statute in June 2010 but not seated until now. I received a letter notifying me of my appointment on April 5. The council includes American Birkebeiner Executive Director Ned Zuelsdorf, bike tour organizer and Silent Sports columnist Bill Hauda, myself and six others. The members are listed here.
The date and time of the first council meeting has yet to be determined. In any case, I'm eager to help determine how best to develop, maintain and promote trails for more people to bike, hike, ski, snowshoe and paddle (presumably, water trails will also be within the council's purview) throughout the state.
I don't anticipate the council will hear serious proposals to turn our trails into gaudy theme parks, but if it does, rest assured I will oppose it. No fooling.
This piece originally appeared as the Editor's Letter in the May 2012 issue of Silent Sports. Don't miss an issue! Subscribe here.
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